Most kids loved Fridays. Last day of the week. The weekend begins within hours, and exciting plans of sleeping in and playing with their friends for two days are made. Add to that they had gym class on Fridays, and her fellow ten-year olds could barely contain themselves.
Of course, that is how her classmates felt. But, not Kalley Ann. For her, gym was not 50 minutes of running around, getting to be loud and working off tons of energy. It was not a time to impress friends and enemies with how good she was at everything. Unlike others, she had no muscles to show off; she was never going to win a race or probably any sports contest. And, she certainly wasn’t going to be able to goof around or chat while simultaneously climbing a rope or running after a ball or even doing something as simple as jumping rope. Her loud gasping for air between purple lips usually resulted in her classmates picking her last for teams and generally avoiding being too close to her in gym class. So, as Kalley Ann walked along the hall with her class towards the school gym, she found herself fantasizing about what she hoped the class would be. Were they too old to have a good ‘ole fashioned “parachute” class? She used to love doing that in kindergarten, when the teacher gave the class a huge parachute and they would make it move working all together. The best was when they would throw the parachute into the air and then scatter under it, so they felt like they were living in a colorful, beautiful bubble with all their favorite people. Yes! Maybe that would be the gym class today. Or maybe they would get to practice for some of the Field Day events. Not all of them, of course. But the balloon toss was one that Kalley Ann was pretty good at. She always signed up for the limbo contest too. Not that she was particularly flexible, but she was small, so she could get lower than most. And, yeah, a class of balloon toss and limbo would be perfect. Maybe the teacher would think so too? But she knew before she even stepped foot in the gym that her dream gym class would not come true, as she watched the boys in her class start jumping up and down when they saw something set up in the gym. Kalley Ann’s eyes dropped to the floor. She took a deep breath to give her the energy to propel her feet through the gym door. Her feeling of dread immediately turned into terror, as she saw what the boys were so happily celebrating. The basketball hoops on either end of the gym had been lowered, and small racks of basketballs had been rolled out to the sidelines of the court. The boys had already darted toward them and were gleefully bouncing the balls and trying to hoist them into the nets. Meanwhile, Kalley Ann’s brain was in full calculation mode. With the exception of the mile run test at the end of the school year, she could not think of another gym class activity that required more running. With her eyes glued to the floor, the increasingly loud and excited chatter of her classmates crashed over her like a wave. Once again, she had that strange feeling like she was on an island and the kids her age were far away from her, and she neither would nor could ever reach them. And, then one voice rose to the top: Peter McGowan. “No, no, listen Chris!” Peter exclaimed excitedly to his friend Chris White, “With you and me on this team, we can beat any team no matter who else is on our team!” He continued with a small hesitant pause, “Well, I mean as long as we can avoid having to pick Kalley Ann.” Kalley Ann’s head whipped up upon hearing her name. And, she squared her shoulders. Her brain, which only moments ago had been in the familiar place of trying to work out how to protect her heart, abandoned all thought of heart valves or lack of oxygen. Instead, it began to work out how she was going to dominate on the court. She mused that surely watching professional basketball games with her mom on TV gave her some kind of skills. And, within seconds, she was imagining how many points she would be able to score in the next 45 minutes. As long as it was more than Peter scored, she decided, that would be all that mattered. The chose-up worked out how both Kalley Ann and Peter had hoped, and she ended up on the team playing against him and Chris. She also was happy that there were a couple of the nicer students in her class on her team, which meant beating Peter and Chris would be that much more enjoyable. One of those nicer girls was Terri, who patted the bench in a signal for Kalley Ann to sit down next to her. As Kalley Ann settled in next to Terri, she whispered, “Welp, it’s basketball. So, you know what that means…. none of the boys are going to let us play.” And, with that proclamation, she sent her eyeballs pointing to the sky. “Oh, I’m playing!” Kalley Ann announced emphatically. “Really?” Terri sounded incredulous. “I thought for sure we’d be bench partners, and we could sit here and make fun of these dorky boys.” “Nope,” Kalley Ann said a little louder than the whisper they had been speaking at. “I want to help rub the stuck-up smiles off Peter and Chris’s faces.” And, at the same moment Mr. Gorman, the gym teacher, stood in front of the bench of squirming kids, “Okay, we are going to play short scrimmages, with the two teams changing players as soon as one of the teams playing scores ten or more points. Who are the first five playing for this team?” Kalley Ann’s hand shot into the air, and a half a second later a couple of the boys on the team groaned. Mr. Gorman’s eyebrows shot up like he was surprised, and then he smiled and said, “Ok, let’s get Kelly, Kalley Ann, Jimmy, Frank and Kevin out on the floor.” Kalley sprinted onto the floor and went right for the center of the court. But, before she had a chance to turn and give the death stare to Peter and Chris, Frank blasted out her name and followed it with the angry sounding instructions, “You’re definitely too short to be a center. Play in the back and be defense.” Kalley Ann sighed and her shoulders slumped, but she did as she was told. The game started slowly. Even the boys who believed themselves to be NBA-level players, dribbled timidly, so were forced to walk the ball forward. Now, this was a pace that Kalley Ann could manage. Her team moved into scoring position, but of course none of the boys passed it to her. Instead Kevin threw the ball toward the net and hit the rim. Chris quickly retrieved the ball and passed it to Peter. Peter was able to run and dribble simultaneously. Frank again bellowed out instructions, “RUN!” and Kalley Ann’s whole team started running after Peter. None caught him, but fortunately, he missed his shot. And then both teams turned and started running in the other direction, as her team suddenly learned that Jimmy had the skills to dribble and run at the same time too. And, so the enjoyable pace of the game disappeared. Before Kalley Ann knew it, she had run up and down the court four times and not touched the ball. Her gasping had started in earnest, and she tried not to think about the color of her lips. However, a quick glance at her purple fingernails easily answered that unasked question. “You, good, Kalley Ann?” Mr. Gorman asked, concerned as she slowly ran by. Not able to run and talk if she hoped to conserve what little oxygen she had, she gave him a thumbs up and flashed him a weak smile. Frank finally scored for their team, but Chris had scored twice for the other team. No boy was passing the ball to either her or Kelly, so they were just chasing after whichever boy was dribbling and running. Kalley Ann knew she was fading fast. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and hear it in her ears. She was full on, loudly mouth breathing trying desperately to give her body more oxygen. “I just need a minute to catch my breath,” she kept shouting in her head. But there was no break. Until…. Sarah, on the other team - tired of the boys not passing her the ball - stole it away from her own team and then accidentally kicked it out of the court when she tried to dribble and run. All of the boys’ hands went up in the air in frustration. Everyone stopped while Mr. Gorman ran to retrieve the ball. “FINALLY!” thought Kalley Ann. She squatted down trying to slow her heart and steady her breathing. The needed rest was lengthened by a few more seconds, as Mr. Gorman warned the boys on both teams, “You need to include the girls on your team and pass to them too.” It was a futile statement, but one that Kalley Ann appreciated for the extra time she had to try to bring her heart rate down a few beats. Plus, a needed lecture if she was ever going to have a hope of scoring a basket this game. “Fine. Are you coming?” Kevin asked loudly looking down at Kalley Ann, while simultaneously looking at Mr. Gorman with a “see why we don’t pass to them” look, displaying immediately that Mr. Gorman’s plea had fallen on deaf ears. She nodded, stood up slowly and walked back toward the center of the court, where Mr. Gorman had returned with the ball, ready for another tip off. “You okay, Kalley Ann?” Mr. Gorman asked with concern. “We can sub someone in, if you need to rest for a few minutes.” “No,” she answered breathlessly. “I’m fine, Mr. Gorman.” And, she tried to ignore the other kids shaking their heads at her, apparently disbelieving her claim. “Okay,” Mr. Gorman replied skeptically but with a kind smile before putting the whistle in his mouth and throwing the ball up for a jump ball. And, then it was off to the races again. Kalley Ann tried to make adjustments. She walked a few times, figuring they didn’t really need her to rush down there. Another time, she didn’t go down at all when it was her team’s turn to shoot the ball. She rationalized that Frank had told her she was defense, so she should stay at the defensive end of the court. But when Frank scolded her for it by asking, “Are you playing or what?” she found herself running down to the other end the next time the ball went in the other direction. But she knew it was futile. Her heart was going so fast now, she thought it might actually burst. It was hopeless to try to slow it down. Her breathing hurt in her chest. And with the combination of open mouth breathing and having no energy to swallow, she started to drool. She tried to wipe her mouth, but did not have the energy to move her arm. And, then suddenly her body just said NO. And before she knew what was happening her whole body fell to the floor. And there she lay. Finally at peace; able to rest. That was when all the activity really started. Kalley Ann had only enjoyed the cool wood floor for mere seconds when the noise of the gym teacher’s whistle sounded loudly on the other side of the court and a bunch of kids began calling her name. The whistle stopped and Mr. Gorman yelled to no one in particular, “Go get the nurse…. NOW!” Kalley Ann tried to raise her arm to wave them off and let them know all was fine. She was already feeling a bit better just by not having to run any more, but she still didn’t have the energy to raise either arm. Instead, kids started standing around her and looking at her with confusion. Mr. Gorman tried to clear them away, barking at them “Stand back! Give her some room to breathe,” before he knelt down next to her. “Kalley Ann, honey, is it your heart? Can you talk?” he asked, sounding alarmed. Kalley managed a small nod, but felt so weak, she couldn’t manage much else. Mr. Gorman picked up her wrist and held it between two fingers. The kids were all around buzzing with conversation, but he seemed to not notice them at all, glancing quickly at his watch and then staring off into space. He seemed to be concentrating on something, but Kalley Ann was confused about what. Suddenly, he snapped back to his surroundings and barked at Kalley Ann’s classmates, “Who went to get the nurse?” “Terri did,” offered a girl’s voice. “Okay. Hmm, let’s see,” Mr. Gorman said, looking around at Kalley Ann’s classmates as he seemed to be making some sort of silent assessment. “Jimmy, you’re fast. Run down to the nurse and make sure that Terri was able to find her.” “Ok,” Jimmy beamed at the complement of being fast. And, as if to prove Mr. Gorman right, he seemed to burn rubber with his sneakers as he took off running. Having a teacher’s permission to run through the hallways was most likely a lifelong dream for Jimmy. “And tell her it’s an emergency!” Mr. Gorman shouted after him. Just then, Kalley Ann mustered the energy to move her arm and wipe her mouth. She started coughing, and suddenly did not want to be lying down anymore. Unfortunately, she could already tell she did not have enough energy to stand up. So she simply lifted her head. “Kalley Ann, honey. You okay? Feeling better? Do you think you can sit up?” Mr. Gorman asked tentatively. Kalley Ann managed a simple nod. “Okay, I gotcha, sweetie,” Mr. Gorman said as he placed a hand on her back and helped her into a sitting position. With his arm around her, he supported her in a sitting position, and it was then that Kalley Ann realized how much effort it was taking to hold her head up. “Kelly, do you think you can bring one of those chairs over here?” Mr. Gorman said pointing to the sideline chairs kids had been sitting in while they waited for their turn to play. Kalley Ann could see the look of surprise on Kelly’s face when asked to do such an important task, and how it instantly became serious as she ran to grab a chair. Her athletic legs got her there quickly, but the size and heft of the chair forced her to awkwardly walk the chair toward Kalley Ann slowly. “Okay, Chris, Frank and Peter, come help me get Kalley Ann into the chair,” instructed Mr. Gorman. “Oh, No!” thought Kalley Ann, “Not those three. Could this really get any more humiliating?!” But, the humiliation also served as motivation. Kalley Ann took a deep breath and mustered up her slowly increasing energy to push herself up, making it unnecessary for all three boys to help. And, so, with her determination and Mr. Gorman and Peter’s help, she traveled the one and a half feet up to the chair seat. Now able to sit on her own, Kalley Ann could concentrate on her breathing more clearly. As she began employing the “in through the mouth, slowly out through the nose” method her registered nurse aunt had taught her. The crowd that had formed around her also came into focus, and she began working out how she was going to shrug this off to her peers and keep some dignity. Just then, the nurse ran into the gym. “Ambulance is on the way!” she screeched at the class huddled around Kalley Ann. She was running in a penguin style, probably due to the combination of her large size and the bad knees she was always complaining about. But, the sight of it made Kalley Ann smile, as it seemed almost comical to watch this funny looking person dressed in all-white scrubs struggling to get her stethoscope into her ears. Kalley Ann began to protest with a weak, “I’m fine…..” when the nurse knelt down in front of her and commanded, “Shhhh!” and slid the stethoscope under Kalley Ann’s shirt. Everyone got really quiet as if waiting for a bomb to go off. Kalley Ann joined them as she succumbed to the cold metal on her chest. But, then something strange happened, the nurse started jerking the head of the stethoscope around in no particular pattern on Kalley Ann’s chest and for no particular amount of time on each spot. What was she doing?! Kalley Ann had hundreds - if not thousands - of stethoscopes on her chest over the years, and it had never felt like this. Kalley Ann was just about to ask the nurse if she was okay, when the gym door burst open once again. In ran two large men in uniform with medical bags in their hands and urgency stamped on their faces. Kalley Ann’s head fell in frustration, as she realized she now officially was not going to get out of this situation with any dignity. The adults misunderstood her head's downward movement, and both lunged toward her, exclaiming “Kalley Ann!” in unison. “What happened?” the first paramedic asked the nurse. Mr. Gorman and the nurse answered at the same time: “We were playing basketball and she just went down on the court,” explained Mr. Gorman. While the nurse answered, “She has a cardiac condition, I was just trying to listen to her heart,” as she held up her stethoscope with pride. Then the nurse quickly added, “Oh, I forgot. She has a medical bracelet that will tell you the name of her condition,” and she bent down to touch the silver bracelet that never left Kalley Ann’s wrist. “Okay, thanks,” the paramedic said with a kind smile. “We’ll take it from here. Has anyone called her parents?” “They are on their way,” reported the nurse seriously. “Okay, well then let’s clear out this area so we can work and have them escorted here as soon as they arrive,” he said with authority. As the kids reluctantly retreated, Kalley Ann’s tears started to flow. She suddenly just wanted to go home and sleep. The physical exhaustion was passing more quickly now, but the knowledge of the huge effort facing her from the onslaught of classmates’ questions was overwhelming. She needed to convince all the adults that home is where she should be; a stint in bed was the medicine she most wanted now. Kalley Ann took another deep breath in, and readied herself for one more scrimmage today; this time with adults and the goal of spending the remainder of her day in bed.
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Who Is Kalley Ann?
Join Kalley Ann in her adventures as a child born with a broken heart, literally. Her ever-important organ is littered with issues. But as it continues to beat on, year after year, countless doctors, experts and pretty much everyone are amazed that it is able to beat at all. Everyone is surprised, that is, but Kalley Ann. Archives
February 2024
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